A harmonious family is a goal that all married couples aspire to without exception. It is impossible for someone to get married without the intention of having a harmonious family.
In fact, this harmonious family will be far from the quarrels that often color everyday life. Even if there is an argument, it usually will not last long.
So what are the topics that always become arguments between husband and wife? Let's see the review
Sources of the cause of disharmonious families There are several causes of disharmonious families, where husband and wife like to fight hard and sometimes end in divorce,
1. Poor communication
communication is one of the triggers that causes differences of opinion between husband and wife. Communication that is rarely done causes misunderstandings, the husband's intentions are different and the wife's side also has a different understanding.
2. Financial problems
Family finances when married occupy a priority scale that underlies a family so that it can run its daily life. Because financial problems themselves arise because of
- High family spending needs
- Husband's income is small so that it cannot cover family spending
- Husband is not open with the income he earns
- Infidelity
3. Differences in character
When married, it is actually a manifestation of the joining of characters between the man and woman. Therefore, it is certain that at the beginning of marriage there will be many adjustments in nature and behavior between the newly formed family couple.
Although sometimes the adjustment process is not easy and even ends in divorce because each party feels the most correct.
4. Lack of attention
It is natural that every woman wants attention from her beloved husband. Maybe at the beginning of marriage, that attention is quite fulfilled, but over time due to busyness, attention gradually decreases to her partner.
However, as reported by the research journal of the State University of Jakarta volume 3(1) in 2021, the results of Christine Purnamasari Andu's research stated that several causes of husband and wife quarrels in the household are
The husband's point of view
- Housework and bad habits (42%)
- Mobile phones, social media and economy (33%)
- In-laws and other family (25%)
Wife's point of view
- Infidelity (42%)
- Economy, in-laws and family (33%)
- Housework, bad habits and commitments (25%)
Forming a Harmonious Family
The creation of a harmonious or disharmonious family is determined by the nature and behavior of the husband and wife because they are the two who live the household.
Therefore, both must be very aware of the things that need to be done so as not to disappoint their partners,
In Islamic teachings there is a concept of family which is termed sakinah (a peaceful family) mawadaah (a family full of love) and warrahmah (a family full of affection).
What is meant here is a family that applies Islamic values in carrying out its rights and obligations, both husband and wife.
The concept of an Islamic family is emphasized by Allah in the letter Ar-Ruum: 21
"And among the signs of His power is that He created for you wives from your own kind, so that you will be inclined and feel at ease towards them, and He made among you mawaddah and mercy. Verily in this there are truly signs for people who think.
Well, the Rasullah family is an example that is worth emulating, a mawaddah and rahmah family that truly implements Islamic values
1. Communicating honestly and intensively
Communication based on honesty will play an important role in a family. Although the topic being discussed may be disappointing and not expected by the partner, if it is discussed openly then it will be understandable.
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Honesty is an Islamic manner that should be upheld by a Muslim because it is a path to heaven. I have explained this in full in the previous article
2. Loyal to your partner It has become a commitment when you declare that you want to marry your partner, then you automatically declare your loyalty in happy and sad conditions.
Without loyalty to your partner, the household will become disharmonious, there will be excessive suspicion, endless blind jealousy, all of which can have an impact on everything.
3. Giving respect and attention
One of the characteristics of the Prophet Muhammad to his wife is that he gives so much attention, where he likes to praise his wife. Aisyah is one of them, who is often called humaira (red-cheeked) by the Prophet, this is a form of respect and attention to her family.
Of course, attention like this is much desired by any woman so that a harmonious family can be realized.
4. Always be grateful
Being grateful is an Islamic value in a family, that whatever Allah SWT has given to a family should be grateful for. For example, a husband's income that is only a little and far from enough, the wife must be grateful for it.
Don't be yelled at by your husband and considered lazy because the money you bring home is only a little.
Remember that your husband is a path to heaven by being obedient to him, including always being grateful for the income he gives even though it is not enough for shopping.
Those are some things that must be considered to form a harmonious family according to Islamic teachings.
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